Lead the Way
by Melody Elliot
Summary: My perspective on the Erica/Callie relationship.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own any part of "Grey's Anatomy," nor am I making any sort of profit from this story. I'm just borrowing them for a bit to indulge my imagination.

This is my personal perspective on the events between Erica Hahn and Callie Torres through the last few episodes of season 4. Yes, it contains romantic affection between two women. I'm ok with that, and I hope the rest of you are, too. Love is love, and it should be celebrated in every form.

Many thanks to DianeB for looking through this and pointing out some pretty big issues to me. She did a terrific job, and any remaining mistakes are my own.

A/N: I haven't written a story in about 5 years. If you choose to review, please be kind.

Erica Hahn was married to her work. It had been that way all of her life, from the time she began school at the tender age of five. Her teachers had typically described her as exceedingly bright, much more so than her classmates, but socially withdrawn. Her parents were torn between pride for her work and worry for their serious little girl, but how do you explain to a seven-year-old that perfection could possibly be a bad characteristic? For Thomas and Olivia Hahn, there was no easy way to have that conversation, and so Erica continued to shun the company of peers to meticulously complete every work assignment given to her. It wasn't that she didn't talk to anyone; she knew how to have a conversation, when it suited her. The problem was, she soon realized that her intellect far exceeded that of her classmates, and as they grew older, she found that she had less and less to discuss with them.

But that was ok with her.

Nothing changed when she entered college as a full time student. As she had always done, Erica excelled in every class. In the areas of science and mathematics, she did more than excel, she kicked ass. Her obvious intelligence and obsession with details made it seem only natural for her to enter medical school, and her choice as a surgeon naturally led her into cardiothoracics. Sure, neuro might have gained her a little more recognition or accolades, but there was a heady power involved with operating on someone's heart. That one vital organ, a battery for the body, worked night and day to keep the person alive. Erica found the challenge of cardio to be intoxicating, and she willingly traded an adult social life for one of scalpels and heart surgeries.

Erica Hahn was married to her work and devoid of romantic love. As such, she had never had much of a personal life. Though she shunned her peers as a child, she eventually acquired a few close friends in medical school. But typically, that was all it ever was. She didn't make friends easily, and she made lovers even less so. Erica was by no means a virgin, but her experience was more about release and the pleasure of the moment rather than real affection for the man or woman she was with.

That was another oddity about her, another mold she refused to fit. She chose her bed partners on the attractiveness of the person, and that tended to be her only criteria. Not gender, because for her, pretty was pretty. Not intelligence, because if she wanted conversation, she would call one of her few friends. But when she needed release, that ultimate, euphoric moment of bliss after a climax, she sought out an attractive and willing stranger.

Erica was married to her work and devoid of romantic love, and that was how she liked her life.

When she met Callie Torres, for the first time in her life, marriage to her career and pretty strangers were no longer enough.

Not even close.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters or the show "Grey's Anatomy." I am making no money from this story. And I'm too pretty for prison.

Thanks to DianeB for saving me with this section. Any remaining mistakes are my own.

A/N: Thank you to everyone who sent me kind reviews on chapter 1! This story is a 4 part story, so there are two more parts after this one!

Erica, Callie, and Addison were at Joe's for drinks to celebrate the conclusion of another day and give Addison a proper send off before her flight in the morning. Conversation was seemingly easy between the three friends, though the tensions running just under the surface were nearly palpable.

Erica's heart was in turmoil as she gazed across the table at her best friend. She had never fallen for anyone or anything before, except for her career. She feared the weakness that emotional attachment might create in her, but Callie was under her skin where no scalpel could reach. Spending time with her was exquisite torture, but like a moth to the flame, she was inevitably drawn to her.

"Any of you ladies like to dance?" Mark Sloan interrupted with his McSteamy aura in full pulse.

Throwing back another shot, Callie stood up with a nervous glance at Erica. "I'll dance with you."

_Shit._ Callie had been acting strange around her recently, and the way she cut her eyes toward her before accepting the invitation… _What the hell?_

Absorbed in her musings, Erica responded automatically to Addison's comment on Callie's appearance. "She's pretty, isn't she?"

"She's beautiful."

And there it was, her heart on her sleeve and the truth in her voice. With a slightly panicked and guarded expression, Erica tore her gaze from the tempting image of Callie gyrating to the soulful beat of the music to gaze into the knowing eyes of Addison Montgomery. The two powerful women regarded each other for a moment, before a faint, knowing smile pulled at Addison's lips. Far from comforting her, Erica felt the first tendrils of panic curling in her heart as she fought to regain her composure.

"She cares for you, too, you know," Addison intoned softly. "But I don't know if she's ready to admit that to anyone, even herself."

"Dr. Montgomery, I'm sure I have no idea what you are talking about." Scathing comments had always been her shelter, and she punctuated her comment with a long swallow of red wine. Her eyes followed and noted Callie's departure from the bar with Sloan, and Erica struggled against the desire to curl into the fetal position as defense against the pain in her usually barren heart.

Despite Erica's effort to discourage further discussion of Callie, Addison continued, "I feel like I owe you a warning, Erica." Erica could practically feel the fire that kindled in her widening eyes as she mentally put up her guard. "Maybe it was remnants of the California sunshine and attitude clogging my brain, but when I watched the two of you together, I thought you were, you know, a couple." Though Addison finished hesitantly, Erica sensed that she was speaking from the heart.

Not sure how to respond, she blinked stone-faced at Addison. Apparently Addison decided that she wasn't going to receive a comment from the cardio surgeon, so she continued in a rush: "And I might have mistakenly said as much to Callie at lunch today."

"Seriously??" Erica's response could have made even Meredith Grey proud, but all of her defenses had crumbled. She was pissed as hell at Addison and her brazen assumptions, bold confessions – and spot on observations. But as much as she wanted to unleash a barrage of verbal assaults upon the red-haired doctor across the table, she wanted to hear about Callie's reaction to the statement even more.

Erica realized her response must have opened the floodgates of confession for Addison as the other doctor rambled on: "Yes, seriously, I know! I mean, you guys act like you're a couple, and then Yang came over and told Callie that she was kicking her out of her apartment unless you lightened up on her, and Callie's defense of you was sweet and caring and –"

"Damn it, Addison, stop." Erica put her hand up to silence the surgeon, and took a deep breath. Her heart warmed to hear that Callie had defended her against a woman who was arguably one of Callie's closest friends, but she needed to stop this. She opened her mouth to respond, but instead of her planned rebuke, she heard herself saying, "What did she say when you suggested that she and I were a couple?"

"She swore her undying love to penis," Addison began, and Erica could feel her anxious expression falter. Before she could stop her, Addison leaned across the table to cover the heart surgeon's hand with her own, in what she had to know was a bold risk. "But her eyes and the quiver in her voice told me a different story, Erica."

Erica couldn't speak around the knot lodged in her throat, and she reflexively squeezed the hand covering hers as her eyes filled with unbidden tears. In that moment, Addison became a confidant as Erica, absurdly, made her second friend at Seattle Grace. She had admired her obvious drive and strength from the start, despite her sordid, soap-opera style past with Derek and Mark, and now she trusted her with her deepest secret.

"Addison, I…" _Deep breath, Erica. Deep breath._ "Are you telling me that – you think – I mean, it could be possible – that she feels the same way that I do?"

If Addison noticed the uncharacteristic stuttering, she didn't mention it, and Erica was grateful. Through her tears, she could read compassion in the red-haired doctor's eyes.

"Yes, Erica, I do."


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Just as in previous chapters, I do not own Grey's and I am not making any profit from this story.

Thanks to DianeB for her time and instruction on the appropriate use of the ellipsis. Remaining mistakes are entirely my own.

A/N: Thanks again for the kind reviews. It's repetitive, but as long as I am receiving them, I will give thanks in my chapters. My momma raised me with manners :)

Erica lived in a euphoric bubble, compliments of Addison's declaration at Joe's, for all of 11 hours and 14 minutes. It lasted no longer than that because, at 11 hours and 15 minutes, Erica had to watch Mark Sloan grind his hips possessively into Callie's backside and see her guilty look of admission. That hurt and pissed her off more than she had expected, and it took nearly all of Erica's energy to ignore the foreign emotions burning in her chest as she tried to do her job.

The next few weeks were a painful haze for Erica. Callie seemed to be avoiding her, or at least choosing to be emotionally distant, and though it sliced her heart more effectively than a scalpel to see her stumble out of an on-call room with rumpled clothing and mussed hair, Erica still found herself hoping for these brief glimpses. The only time she felt truly alive these days was during these stolen moments when she could drink in the image of Callie in her afterglow, and imagine that it was _she_ who had brought that slightly dazed and sated look to her face.

Once Callie finally told her that it was Addison's insinuation that they were lesbians that had caused her to avoid her since the red-head's departure, Erica gladly laughed it off and resumed their friendship, strained though it now was. She hadn't lied when she told Callie that she didn't make friends easy, and she would rather be in an awkward friendship with Callie than not have her in her life at all. That possibility was too painful to contemplate.

When Callie began to tease Mark with the idea of a threesome, Erica willingly played along. Though the thought of being with Mark turned her stomach, more from jealously than sincere dislike – after all, he was pretty – she latched pathetically onto the fact that Callie was at least contemplating the idea of the two of them as lovers. In Erica's mind, the threesome was actually a twosome, but Callie didn't need to know that, right? She was just playing along with Callie's game.

That was the excuse she told herself when she kissed her in the elevator.

The elevator virtually reeked of sexuality, even before Mark arrived, but it was only ratcheted up a notch when he entered. That really wasn't saying much, however; Mark Sloan could raise the sexual tensions in a convent.

Every nerve ending in Erica's body was tingling, and her libido was nearly humming at an audible level. Forget this shit about talking about a threesome, she thought, let's see what would happen if action was taken.

"You couldn't handle the two of us." _Here it is, now or nothing, you can do this, Erica Hahn._

"Oh, I could handle it." There's that damned smug grin again. "I won't, but I could."

Erica rose to the challenge in Mark's eyes like a seasoned professional, and she yielded to her desires. She moved swiftly and gracefully, placing a gentle hand to Callie's cheek and turning her face to meet her waiting lips. The dark-haired surgeon's mouth was exquisitely soft under Erica's lips, and she choked back a moan as she kissed her. Her fingers tangled in soft black tresses and a gold hoop earring, and her thumb caressed Callie's cheek in an unbidden and revealing manner.

She had feared that Callie would stiffen or pull back from her, but she seemed frozen in place at her actions. _I can take frozen_, Erica thought, _because frozen means she hasn't yet made up her mind. That just might mean possibilities._

Reluctantly, Erica broke the kiss before it crossed the line from teasing Mark to a revelation of her true feelings. She glanced up into Mark's stunned expression, and she could feel her own face stretching into the biggest shit-eating-grin of her life. She didn't dare glance at the woman who owned the trembling cheek under her palm as she threw a final taunt at Mark, and the buoyancy in her steps as she left the elevator was genuine.

She had done it. She had kissed Callie Torres. Even if their relationship never progressed further than it already had, she would always have the memory of the feel of those soft, unresisting lips under her own to take out and relive when she lay awake at night.

For the first time, Erica Hahn felt alive from the touch of another person.

What a rush this emotions thing could be.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I neither own nor profit from using these beautiful characters. sigh

Many thanks to DianeB. She is swell.

A/N: Much gratitude goes out to those who have reviewed this story. This is the final installment – I hope you have enjoyed it!

--

Andrew Langston might possibly be her favorite case EVER.

The lingering sensation of the elevator kiss had Erica's nerves tingling and her blood pumping all day, and even Callie's obvious after-sex appearance with Sloan couldn't really halt the adrenaline coursing through her body. The sincere challenge of extracting the unfortunate 19 year old boy from full body encasement in concrete stimulated the world-renown surgeon in her, while the opportunity to work in close proximity to Callie all day stimulated other parts of her.

Sheesh, she had it bad.

The day passed in a blur as some of Seattle Grace's finest worked feverishly to free Andrew from his concrete prison, and Erica lost herself in the work. This is what she lived for, what brought her to work with a bounce in her step every day. Beating the odds, saving the lives that were arguably in Death's cold clutches… In a world fueled by addictions, that sensation was Erica's cocaine, and she immersed herself in the delicious task of saving Andrew's life.

At the end of the day, when Andrew Langston was finally stable and resting in his room, Erica's adrenaline gave out on her. She was used to this feeling after tough surgery, a crash back to reality that could be so debilitating it left her leaning against the wall in support, but it somehow seemed more exhausting today with the added letdown from the high of kissing Callie. The ebbing endorphins left her wondering and worried, and she just wanted to go home to a glass of red wine and a bath tub full of bubbles and self-pity.

She might have accomplished this private pity party if not for her damn keys. _Where the hell are they?_ When she got home, she was going to purge the unnecessary items from her bag and find a smaller purse. This was ridiculous.

Over her rummaging, Erica barely heard Callie approach, but somehow she just _knew_ that Callie was standing next to her. Her radar for the dark-haired doctor was unfailing within a 10 foot radius, and when Callie entered her range, she forgot why she had her hand in her bag to begin with.

Oh yeah, keys.

"Hey, I was thinking maybe we could grab a drink…" Callie murmured with a trace of nervousness in her voice.

"I can't find my keys." _Awesome response, Hahn. Seriously._

Undeterred, Callie continued, "I had something I wanted to talk to you about – "

"I put them in my bag this morning and now I can't find them, this whole thing with Yang has got me so messed up – "

"Erica." Thankfully, Callie's statement halted Erica's inane prattle about her keys. The emotion in Callie's voice brought Erica's eyes up to stare full into the other surgeon's face. As soon as their eyes met, Erica melted inside as her careful defenses dissolved at her feet. She felt naked, vulnerable, exposed. Yet, held in the soft gaze across from her, she felt more whole than ever before in her life.

"I had something I wanted to talk to you about." Suddenly, Callie's nervousness was abundantly clear. Erica tried to force her expression into friendly concern, which was difficult to achieve as her heart was attempting to hammer its way out of her chest.

"I just wanted to say…" Callie began again and faltered. Then something odd happened. Erica watched as Callie's gaze shifted from her eyes to settle on her mouth. The nervousness in her demeanor evaporated as she squared her shoulders, like an internal decision had finally been made. "I just wanted to say…"

And then her lips were on her. Erica stood in shock as Callie, the sultry vixen who haunted her dreams, her best friend, a reputed "huge fan of penis," was kissing her in a very public display in front of the hospital. _Ho-ly shit._ Erica jolted out of her stupor and cradled Callie's face in return, kissing her with the enthusiasm of weeks of pent-up emotion. Their lips and tongues dueled with each other, gliding, caressing, clinging together like the other contained the breath of life, eternal salvation, a reason to wake up in the morning.

After several searing moments, they broke apart. Callie leaned her forehead against Erica's as she struggled to catch her breath, and Erica's heart burned with the emotions raging in her chest.

"Umm, I'm sorry to just – jump you – outside the hospital, here." Callie stuttered in embarrassment. "That wasn't exactly how I had it all planned out in my head, but…"

"You won't hear me complaining, that's for sure," Erica responded quietly back. Dare she hope that Callie was really going to say what she'd longed to hear?

As if she read the confusion and question in Erica's blue eyes, Callie licked her lips and launched into a hesitant explanation. "All day, I kept thinking about Andrew and Lola, the silly girl whom he'd wanted so much to impress that he laid down in a vat of cement for her. And though she had feelings for him, she was afraid of what she felt and of what others might think if she was with him."

Callie visibly steeled herself with a breath as her fingers sought out Erica's. "But then I got to thinking that you and I weren't so different from the two of them. You might not have laid down in a tub of cement for me, but you opened yourself up to me and rendered yourself vulnerable, probably more open and vulnerable than you've ever been before in your life. Am I right?"

The emotion coursing through Erica made it virtually impossible to maintain eye contact but she forced herself to do so, though her eyes filled with tears and blurred the image of the beautiful woman standing with her. She couldn't manage speech, so she nodded. Callie squeezed her hand and continued.

"When Addison was here and mistook us for a couple, unknowing pieces fell into place for me. I knew you cared for me, and though I wasn't ready to acknowledge it, I realized that I had feelings for you, too."

Erica's heart leapt as her tears fell. Sparkling, crystal tracks of salty liquid coursed their way down her cheeks, and she choked on a sob. Callie reached up to wipe away the moisture, and as her hand lingered to cup her cheek, Erica finally found her voice.

"So what made you change your mind?"

"You did. In the elevator. Despite the fact that I stomped all over your attempts to open yourself to me in an honest way, you never left. You always came back. And when you kissed me in the elevator last night, it was like you released the locked up part of me that cares for you, wants you." Callie paused before finishing. "Is a part of you."

By now, Erica's tears had been joined by Callie's, but each one was an expression of realization and pure joy between the two women. Erica leaned in and softly laid her lips over the dark-haired doctor's mouth in a sweetly loving kiss, pulling back after a moment to drink in her features. Then she made a leap, one of the biggest in her life, as she opened her heart fully to the woman before her.

"Oh, Callie, you've been a part of me from the moment I let you into my life. I've never needed anyone before I met you…" The admission itself almost rendered Erica speechless, but she pressed on against her instinct to guard her feelings. "You make me feel more joy, excitement, and fear than I have ever felt before in my life. I didn't realize I had never been whole until you brought me the missing piece of myself."

Erica wanted to cringe at the sappy words leaving her mouth, if nothing more than to protect herself in the event that Callie pulled away. But the truth of her statements settled between them like a warm, downy blanket. Callie reached up to gently glide her fingers through Erica's blonde hair as she studied her intently, analyzing the woman in front of her.

Her face creased into a dazzling smile, despite her tears. "You're beautiful," Callie whispered, and Erica's heart sang. She pulled Callie into a tender embrace, holding onto her like a lover cradles her partner.

Erica tilted her head to press a kiss to Callie's temple, then murmured, "I only feel beautiful when I am with you." To seal her words, Erica delivered a heated kiss to Callie's lips that represented all the longing that had been building over the past weeks, and when Callie moaned into her mouth, Erica's knees nearly gave out on her.

They broke apart to draw haggard breaths, then looked at each other and chuckled softly. Erica reached into her pocket and miraculously withdrew her missing keys as a sudden epiphany struck her, and Callie's grin widened.

"I have a bottle of my favorite red wine back at my place, Callie, and I would really like to talk more with you about us." Erica couldn't stop the goofy grin that consumed her when she finished her statement. _Us._ "You don't have to stay, but you are more than welcome to spend the night and sleep wherever you choose. I just want to be near you right now."

Callie stepped forward and kissed her once more, then pitched her voice into her deepest, gravelly register that sent shivers skittering down Erica's spine.

"Lead the way."


End file.
